Johnny Freedum

Johnny Freedum was in a good mood. He’d just heard a guy on Fox say that the Constitution – the Constitution of the United States of America! – guaranteed that he did not have to stay home just because some damned Governor said so.

“God, I love this country!”, Johnny thought to himself as he barreled down the highway on his way to work. It was loud in the cab and Johnny cranked the volume so he wouldn’t miss anything. He turned to look at the two large flags flapping on their posts. “Worth the noise”, he thought, to show how proud he was of his country.

Up ahead, Johnny spotted a Prius poking along. He downshifted and floored it as he passed, covering the Prius with a dark, oily cloud of diesel exhaust. “Fuck you snowflake”, Johnny thought. He rolled down his window and shouted, “Whoo!”

“What an asshole”, the Prius owner said to himself.

To be continued…

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